Wednesday, September 19, 2012

NJ Maverick stared at the monitor that showed the group touring the huge mansion/school. Skyril had already shown their group of guy friends the West wing, where they would be staying while “studying” at the school. She knew every word they spoke and every thought that they had. NJ was an expert at reading body languages and reading lips.

Standing in the small security room with Raven by her side, she mused over the different reactions she saw within the faces of the boys.  Some were interested; others looked a little bored, wanting to get back to their own thing, perhaps writing. But she hoped that they all would be happy there and would join them fully in the school’s main objective; to stop crime and to save lives.


“Yes, Raven?”

“They are now approaching classroom 154.” Raven kept her voice steady but there was an unmistakable quiver there in her mouth as she fought to keep from laughing.

It took NJ only another moment to remember why. Whirling around she snatched the chat hanging on the plain white wall and flipped through it till she came to where she wanted.

“The room is not ready! It is still being worked on.” NJ said grimly as she looked back at the screen to see her friends nearing it. “Well, so much for good first impressions.”

“Relax, NJ.” Raven grinned. “All Skyril needs to do is say one thing and everyone there will understand.”

“What is that word, Raven?” NJ frowned not taking her eyes from the screen.

“Not a what. But who,” Raven, continued.

NJ understood then.

“Kallista!” They both spoke at once.

Silently both girls watched as the group then entered into the remains of room 154, the place where Kallista had just failed in her thousandths attempt to create a formula to actually make it so she could fart rainbows. Instead the room had blown up, nearly taking Kallista with it. As it was, the dark haired girl had made it out, just barely smoldering and blackened around the edges.

It reminded NJ of one very special birthday, not so long ago. Yet it seemed like ages since it took place. She smiled even now as the memory took hold and she remembered everything.


The late summer sun shone brightly overhead as NJ Maverick walked the path in the park on her way to the restaurant. Its cheerful rays provided warmth as it illuminated the world below. Only moments before it had rained and now as the sun touched the wet earth, each raindrop sparkled like diamonds. Leaves still green and full on the trees glittered like jewels.

 Everything felt welcoming to her on her first visit to America. Even though her homeland Ireland was priceless in its beauty, she could not deny that this place almost matched it in its splendor.

Different fragrances filled the air; from the fresh smell of nature to the delicious aromas waffling from the many diverse restaurants in the surrounding area. All were within walking distance of the posh hotel she was staying at. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she had not eaten yet.

Fallen twigs crunched under her stylish boots as she hurried along, passing other people along the way. A young child broke free from her mother and ran to chase a pigeon. NJ could not help but laugh at the sight. Everywhere she looked, she saw people enjoying the last of the summer days.

A balmy breeze rose up and whipped her long brown hair gently around. Raising a hand she pushed it out of her eyes and observed all that was around her, taking everything in. It was her birthday and she smiled slightly thinking of all the fun things she planned on doing. But something was not right. For a moment she stopped and scanned the entire area again, slower and more careful this time. All seemed normal. Then just in the corner of her eye, she saw something a bit odd and out of place. Narrowing her lovely eyes she zeroed in a bush that quivered too much, more than the wind allowed. It could only mean one thing. The phone rang then, interrupting her thoughts.

“Happy Birthday, NJ!” Raven’s voice rang loud and clear. “How was your flight to America?”

“It was smooth sailing all the way.” NJ replied with a smile. “I am hungry after a brief nap. It has helped somewhat with the jet leg.”

“I am glad to hear that.” Raven replied with a smile in her voice. “I’m sorry I could not meet you. I was caught up with some appointments. I could not get away from them.”
“No worries,” NJ soothed graciously, keeping an eye on a suspicious bush. “I totally understand.”
“Thanks NJ.” Raven continued. “I also wanted to pass you a warning.”

“Could it be that I am not alone?” NJ’s sharp eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Ah, so she is there already.”

“It seems that way.” NJ laughed quietly and turned away. “I will just pretend I don’t see her. Always makes her happier when she thinks she is successfully stalking someone.”

“Yeah… sorry about that NJ. We tried to keep Kallista busy by giving her some puppies to cuddle.” Raven explained. “But when she heard you were in town nothing could distract her. She is determined to kidnap her favorite Irish sister.”

“Sounds like fun.” NJ laughed, “Just as long as she lets me eat first.”

“Good luck with that.” Raven joined in laughing. “I have to go now but will try to catch up with you soon.”

NJ hung up her phone and calmly walked to a young woman who was walking by with a puppy.

“HI there, I love your puppy.” NJ greeted in a warm and friendly manner. “A golden retriever, yes?”

The woman murmured a shy yes and smiled back.

“What is your puppy’s name?” NJ further questioned and the woman happily answered her. “Do you mind if I hold Cleo?”

After getting a yes, NJ gathered the little squirmy puppy into her arms and suggested smoothly that they move into the shade.  The woman compliantly agreed and followed NJ to a tree that was beside a suspicious looking bush that just so happened to have a pair of blue eyes staring out crazily. Once there NJ ignored the quivering bush and gushed lovey dovey words of affection to the happy furry critter that lavished kisses on her.

Suddenly a loud howl came out of the bush.

“I CAN’T TAKE THIS NO MORE!” Kallista leaped out of the bush with leaves and twigs stuck in her hair and hugged both NJ and the puppy, “too much cuteness here!”

“So…how’s it going, Kallista.” NJ smiled amused, mindful of the flabbergasted woman nearby.

“I’m here to kidnap you!” Kallista spoke dramatically as she stepped back to point crazily at her soul sister.

“Great!” NJ replied cheerfully. “Just let me give this puppy back.”

“Aww….Can’t I just kidnap the puppy too?” Kallista’s shoulders sagged dejectedly and the puppy’s owner almost gave the puppy to her just to see her smile again.

“No dear. You have puppies at home. I know this.” NJ replied firmly then thanked the woman for the puppy love and steered Kallista promptly away. “Besides, I need to eat. So you better wait to kidnap me till I have eaten.”

“Fine! Agreed!” Kallista snarled back and stalked after NJ into the restaurant doing her best to look scary.

NJ thought she looked like a wet kitten and rolled her eyes. All the way through her meal Kallista eyeballed NJ and when she tried to distract NJ’s attention the other way, reaching out to steal some bacon, NJ lightly tapped her hand with the back on her spoon not fooled at all.

“You could have ordered your own meal Kallista.” NJ spoke calmly in between bites.

“Much more fun to steal.” Kallista growled looking more like a weasel this time.

NJ took her times making the most of each bite like it was heaven on earth. “Mmmm….this is the most SCRUMPTIOUS meal I have EVER had!”

Kallista drooled.

“Oh, and this desert! So DIVINE!”

Kallista drooled some more.

“You know what?” NJ beamed with her eyes opened wide in innocence. “You know what would make this meal even better?”

Kallista stared.

NJ pulled out a picture of Octaboona and set it before her would be kidnapper. “If Octaboona were here, it would be perfect!”

Kallista stared at the photo and drooled some more.

“I would kidnap him too!” She spoke crazily.

“Yes, I’m sure you would.” NJ Smiled smugly and put the picture back into her purse. “Well, I am ready to be kidnapped.”

“GOOD!” Kallista jumped up and moved to follow NJ but fell flat on her face instead.

Frowning, the girl looked down at her feet to see her shoelaces were tied to the bench where she had just been sitting. Eyes opened in surprise she looked back to NJ just in time to see her disappear through the doors of the restaurant.  Clever girl! Kallista could not help but smile. Searching her mind she could not pin point a time when NJ had pulled the trick on her. It made her admire NJ all the more.

Franticly she undid her shoe laces and scrambled back to her feet to catch up with NJ. But a huge man stood in front of her and blocked her way.

“Wow! What big muscles you have.” Kallista poked his arms in awe.

Ignoring her, the man just frowned and spoke simply. “You need to pay for the young lady’s meal.”
“Oh! You mean NJ?” She wrinkled her forehead, confused.

“Yes.” He frowned even more, if that were possible.

“OK. Tell you what Big Guy!” Kallista took on a shady look again as she tried to make a deal with the big man. “How about you and I arm wrestle? If I win I walk out of here without paying. If YOU win; I will pay.”


Without another word, the man sat down at an empty table. Kallista joined him and sat across from him doing her best to look tough. NJ watched from just outside, hidden from view and thought Kallista looked more constipated than anything else.

The black haired girl offered her skinny arm first and seemed undaunted by the meaty size of the man’s hand and arm.

“OK, ready…..set…GO!” Kallista grunted as she strained to move the guys arm back.

He looked bored. Undeterred she hopped up and used both arms now to try and force his arm down. He did not even budge.

When he got tired of the little game he moved his arm a little and easily pushed Kallista’s arm down.

She went flying backwards and landed against the far wall, spread-eagled then fell to a heap on the floor.

“Well, fair’s fair.” She remarked as she got to her feet unsteadily. “OK I will pay.”

But when she reached for her purse she realized then that she did not have it with her. Slowly she looked back up at him with a sheepish look on her face and shrugged helplessly.

“How about an IOU, big guy?” She tried to reason with him.

“Name’s Ed,” he barked at her then pointed to the kitchen. “You will wash dishes! GO!”

Casting resentful looks back at Big Ed, Kallista scuffled into the kitchen.

NJ spent the afternoon shopping and having her things sent back to her hotel.  Briefly she wondered where Kallista was lurking but saw no signs of her friend anywhere. Puzzled she walked leisurely back down the street to where she had been earlier. It was at that moment that Kallista walked back out of the restaurant they had been earlier. The other girls’ dour face was beat red from heat and her hands were raw from the scalding water.

Kallista turned and spied NJ. “YOU!” She pointed dramatically then rushed towards NJ. It was too bad she was not looking where she was going. NJ cringed as Kallista ran smack into a lamppost and knocked herself out.

Sighing she got on the phone with Raven as she walked up to Kallista’s still form.

“NJ! I am so glad you called back!” Raven sounded winded and slightly panicked. “Have you seen Kallista? She was supposed to be here and hour ago.”

“Well, as a matter of fact she is right here beside me, prone on the pavement of this fine town.”

NJ heard a few strong oaths being spoken by an exasperated raven.

“OK, Hang on, we will have someone there to pick you up shortly.” Raven said, sounding calmer this time.

In no time at all someone was there to pick her up. It was none other than her dear friends Rachel and Red. After a hasty greeting they hoisted a comatose Kallista and shoved her in the back of a silver luxurious van then piled back in after her.

NJ sat beside her unconscious sister and helped to keep her propped up. But her ears perked up as she noticed red and Rachel whispering tensely up in front.

“OK. So it has not gone according to plan.” Rachel was saying. “But it will still work out. You will see.”

Red whispered something back but NJ could not make it out. Once more she narrowed her eyes wondering what was going on. Secrets were being whispered about and she did not like being kept from them.

She was about to say something when they pulled in front of an unmarked large brick building. Red turned her head and grinned reassuringly at NJ. “Do you mind helping us get Kallista back inside? Then we can take you back to your hotel, maybe later have dinner together.”

“Of course!” NJ smiled back and helped to ease the still form of a drooling Kallista back out of the van. Boy did that girl drool a lot!

Between the three of them they navigated through the large glad doors of the building and into a large reception room. It was spacious and elegantly designed with rich wood tones, walls painted in the style of ancient art and a high ceiling with crystal chandeliers.  NJ raised her eyebrows at the depth of the place and wondered how in the world did Kallista belong here.

“Just through theses doors…” Red panted as she struggled to keep hold of Kallista’s legs.

A giggle came then from the supposedly unconscious girl as the three who bore her trudged through the double doors into a darkened space.

“What? You were faking?” NJ began to yell at Kallista but then was interrupted.

“SURPRISE!” A loud chorus of voices broke through the darkness and the lights were turned on.


Stunned, NJ’s eyes roamed the entire room that now showed colorful streamers and balloons everywhere with a large sign with the words: HAPPY BIRTHDAY painted brightly on.

“I…I….I don’t know what to say!” She smiled as she realized that all her friends she had met from Dereksville Blogland were there, including Derek Landy himself.

“Happy birthday, NJ!” He came forward and hugged her while smiling.

Lizzy stepped up after him and repeated the phrase then glared balefully down at a blinking Kallista who had the grace to look slightly abashed.

“You were supposed to bring her here an HOUr ago!” Lizzy muttered darkly at her then turned back to NJ with a smile. “I hope she did not burden you too much sweetie.”
“Not at all,” NJ replied as she walked further into the room to receive more hugs from friends. “ I did nto even see her for a few hours and shopped during that time.”

“Oh really!” Lizzy’s eyes shot up as she turned ack to Kallista who was now sporting a black eye. “And where were you?”

“Washing dishes?” Kallista hunched her shoulders as she grinned sheepishly.

Lizzy facepalmed.
“Well, NJ is where she is supposed to be now.” Pyro said as he gave his friend a hug and handed her some punch to drink. “Happy SWEET SIXTEEN, Birthday NJ!”

Red then took her place in his arms and NJ realized then that someone had turned on the music. The dewey eyed pair seemed already lost to the rest of them as they stared at one another and began to sway to the music.

“Come on, NJ!” Rachel urged happily. “It’s PARTY TIME!”

A huge eight tiered cake loomed in front of her as she was pulled into the mass of excited friends. In awe she looked at the brightly decorated cake, a masterpiece of all cakes in the world. No expense seemed to be spared.

Octaboona and Hellboy both appeared in front of her and offered to dance with her.

“THE JOSEPHS!” Kallista’s wild cry broke over the music as she charged full throttle towards them.

“NO! Kallista! The CAKE!” Lizzy cried out in warning.

The two Josephs did not appear to have noticed anything unusual as they joked with each other as to who would get the honor of the first dance with NJ. Yet somehow they slipped from the path of the charging Kallista as the both offered their arms on either side of NJ to escort her to the dance floor.

But NJ watched in horror as her dear, but crazy sister plummeted into the large cake, unable to stop herself in time when she saw to late her Josephs as moved. It all seemed to move in slow motion as Kallista fell face first into the embellished frosted creation. The music died down as the cake toppled over them smashed on the clumsy figure below.

Through the silence NJ heard Sam snicker as Kallista pulled herself back out and stumbled around, cake bits dropping everywhere.

“No worries, NJ” Hellboy smiled at her. We have another cake just in case. We were prepared.”
Sure enough, another cake appeared, carted out by a grinning Thalia, Skyril, and Mar, even more elaborate then the first and with all the candles lit.

“As for YOU, Kallista,” Lizzy tapped her foot as she glared down at her. “You are in a time out!”

The music continued as Kallista slunk to a side table, disgraced. Everyone then sang the rousing, Happy Birthday song as they gathered around her.

“MAKE A WISH!” They chanted.

Delighted, NJ did but secretly felt that all her wishes were already being answered.

Blowing out the candles she made her wish. As pieces of the cake where cut out, NJ was shoved gently to another table filled with brightly colored gifts of all shapes and sizes.

“Really?” She questioned as she laughed. “You all have already done so much for me!”

“Nothing is too good for our NJ!” Sam shouted out with a laugh. “OPEN THEM!”

Flame shoved a couple in her hands. But she put them back down.

“How about if we eat first then dance, THEN I will open my gifts?” She suggested with a smile.

“Whatever you want,” Octa smile. “It is your day. You are the Queen!”

Everyone gave a cheer and then did as she wished. Trying to be fair, she danced with them all, but mostly with Derek.

Later Raven pulled her aside and whispered something in her ear. “NJ. Follow me. I have a proposition for you.”

Curious, NJ followed Raven into another room. Skyril and Thalia were already there. Raven left her with them then went to guard the door to make sure no one entered while they talked.

“What is going on?” NJ raised her eyebrows at the secretiveness of it all.

Skyril smiled then begin to explain things to her friend in a low hushed voice.

At the end of her speech, NJ sat back stunned and a tiny bit thrilled. Maybe a lot of thrilled. She had just been invited to join a secret agency called the Purple Roses.

“So let me get this straight,” She reasoned with them. “You all now belong to this secret group that trains and sends out agents on assignments that will help people who need it and stop crime from happening?”

“Pretty much,” Skyril replied matter of factly. “We meet in a school like setting and train. Our facilities as a traditional school like front as a cover.”

“But it is an all-girl group and so this has to be kept secret from even out guy friends out there.”

“That is correct.” Thalia nodded. “But we have plans to add them in the future.”

“This is why we had to drag you in here briefly.” Skyril continued. “We could not risk anyone finding out just yet about our involvement. Not just yet, anyways.”

“So, is Kallista part of this….the Purple Roses too?” NJ asked.

The other girls looked a little stricken to have to answer this.

“Yes.” Skyril managed to say. “We do try to keep her busy with things that won’t interrupt the daily operations. But as you have found out, it does not always work.”

“So will you join us?” Thalia asked eagerly. “We could use a girl like you with all your talents.”

“Of course I will join you!” NJ replied.

Both Skyril and Thalia hugged her happily.

“Is she in?” Raven asked from the opened door. But she could see the answer for herself at the smiles on their faces. “Good! Cause she is needed back out here. Some fellas want to dance with her again.”

“I’ll be right with them all in a minute.” NJ Smiled. “I need to talk with Kallista first.”

Silently she made her way to where Kallista had been brooding earlier. But the forlorn girl was not there.

Alarmed she searched the room yet saw no signs of her friend. Then she spotted the trail of cake on the floor. Sighing she followed the trail that led back through the double door and out into the reception room. The trail continues out the glass doors back onto the street.

“Dang that girl!” Came Lizzy’s voice from behind her.

Turning, NJ saw the other girl’s frustrated face as she moved to join NJ in her search.

“She probably went to the diner down the road. She likes that place.” Lizzy informed NJ grimly as she pushed through the glass doors. “Let’s hope we can make it to her in time before anything happens.”

“IS she really that disastrous?” NJ replied, astounded.
“Pretty much,” Lizzy replied grimly as she walked down the sidewalk. “I just got a call from one of our professors. Some of his supplies are missing from his cabinet. Turns out that some of the substances are radioactive. My first guess is Kallista.”

“Why is that?” NJ asked as they approached the neon lighted diner. It’s flashing lights shone brightly in the daring sky. NJ had not realized it had gotten so late.

“Well, Kallista has been trying to develop the formula to….” Lizzy paused and appeared uncomfortable to go on.
“To do what?” NJ gently prodded her.

“To make it so that when she actually farts, rainbows will come out.” Lizzy rushes her words with a frown, her reading face showing how much she hated having to even say that.

Lizzy walked in leaving a laughing NJ back outside. It took a few moments but NJ finally was able to breathe again and join her friends inside. She found chaos reigning as Lizzy was trying to coax a wild Kallista off the tables and to put down the nasty mixture she held in her hands. Indeed the mixture looked awful and had a strange glow to it as it gave off gasses.
“You will NOT drink that Kallista!” Lizzy was saying. “Now come down from there! Do I have to get Octa?”

“GO ahead and get Octa!” Kallista sobbed. “He can be the first to see my victory! I WILL FART RAINBOWS AND MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE!”

“Dude, what has that girl been drinking?” A random customer asked as he viewed the scene incredulity from where he sat.

NJ ignored him and went to help Lizzy calm Kallista down.

“Uh, maybe you can come down and we can talk about this.” She suggested gently to the highly agitated girl.

A man came and stood next to NJ, frowning up at the irate girl on the table. “Please can someone get this girl out of my place? I don’t want to lose any business.”

Exasperated Lizzy turned back to her sister and pleaded. “Do you hear that? You are going to mess with this man’s livelihood if you don’t calm down now.”
Kallista appeared to consider this for a moment, a look of pure concentration on her face. Then without another word she lifted the bubbling brew and drank it all down.

“Whoa!” She belched out fire then fell backwards in surprise.

“Kallista!” Both Lizzy and NJ shouted in alarm, reaching to catch the falling girl.

But Kallista reached out wildly and caught hold of a wire that was lined all around the top of the wall around the room.

“NO!” The owner of the fine establishment shouted as the wire broke off from the wall under the strain of the girl holding it.

A buzzing noise sounded then a crackling as Kallista jerked about, electricity shooting through her. Everyone hastily stepped back. Lights began to go off in the tiny diner and cried of dismay sounded from the patrons. Then for a moment everything was calm. Calm and dark.

“Kallista?” NJ’s voice broke the stillness cautiously.

“I think it’s working!” Kallista’s harsh electrocuted voice sounded out in astonishment. “Wait, let’s see…”

A farting noise resounded out of the darkness but instead of rainbows appearing, Kallista started to glow.

Everyone stared in astonishment at the girl who grinned as she glowed. “Well, it’s not what I was hoping for, but still really cool!”

The lights came back on then. A waitress peeked out from the kitchen doors. “I got the generator running, Boss. But the outside sign is shot! I can’t get it working.”

“I think I have the solution for that.” The owner of the Diner said as he narrowed his eyes at the glowing girl.

A short time later a sobbing Kallista stood, tied to a pivot on the roof that slowly turned her around and around. Over her head she held up a large heavy sign that read: EAT AT’S PETE’S!  Everything she touched seemed to glow just as strong as neon lights.

“Well, this was unexpected.” NJ blinked in surprise.
“Sorry about all this NJ,” Lizzy said. “Life can be crazy here, especially with Kallista nearby.”

“Indeed Lizzy.” NJ smiled. “But don’t worry. I like it that way. It makes it more fun.”

“Well, let’s get you back to your party. Not much we can do here now.” Lizzy shrugged. “It was either this or a lawsuit.”

“Yes! I have more people I want to dance with!” NJ thought about Derek.

Lizzy looked at her and must have known who she was thinking about.

“Not if I get there first!” She shouted as she took off suddenly back towards the large brick building.

“HEY! WAIT!” NJ protested laughing as she started running too. “It’s my birthday! I get to dance with him first!”

“Not if I get there first!” Lizzy shouted back with a grin.

Kallista watched them go dismally. Overhead the dark sky opened up and big fat raindrops began to fall, cold and fast all around her. Thunder boomed and lightning flashed. But Kallista stayed tied firm to the pivot and glowed just as brightly.




HAPPY BIRTHDAY NJ! You are one amazing girl and we are all lucky to know you and be your friend/sister! HOORAY! I hope your sweet 16th birthday was a special one and that this year will bring many wonderful expected and unexpected things your way! FTW NJ! VIVA LA NJ! HIP! HIP! HOORAY! WE LOVE YOU! *throws up a million confetti and hugs her*


  1. :')

    This is the BEST present I have gotten!
    Love you sister! *hugs*

  2. LOLLOL, Kallista, that was extremely awesome-sauce!!
    My favorite part?

    “GO ahead and get Octa!” Kallista sobbed. “He can be the first to see my victory! I WILL FART RAINBOWS AND MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE!”

    “Dude, what has that girl been drinking?”

    I laughed SOO hard xD

    You can only possibly age to be more awesome. :3

  3. Amazing story, Kallie! Very hilarious.


  4. I loved this! So funny and very well written :D :D :D



    *giggles* I got to dance with Pyyyrrooooo :3


    I loved this. So hilarious and brilliant and fabulous!


    You write so very well my dear.


  7. Hilarious, Kal! :D

    *hugs* I loved it, and I'm glad that NJ did too.

    It was full of jokes and awesomeness, and I look forward to some more writing soon :)

  8. THIS WAS SO AWESOME! Just... you blow mme away every time, I hope you know that!

    *tackles you into a hug*

  9. This is just so- wonderfully- *melts from the blog-birthday-sparkle-ness*

  10. What a nice story. It was fantastically silly. In a good way.